


Fallen Stars

by Honeycrow



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 11:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4347704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honeycrow/pseuds/Honeycrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aftermath to "Cry for Help". Pearl escapes to her room. Amethyst doesn't want to leave her alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fallen Stars

The waterfalls' constant flowing sound, usually so soothing to her, now resounded uncomfortably loudly in Pearl's head. She was sitting hunched over herself in top of one of the water pillars in her room, head hidden between her arms. After the disaster at the communication hub, she had escaped to her room as quickly as possible, leaving behind a concerned Steven (and what a failure she was, leaving him worried about her again) and an uncharacterically quiet Amethyst. Garnet had disappeared to the warp pad immediately after their return.

Where had it all gone so wrong?

Fusing with Garnet was one of the most joyous occasions Pearl had ever experienced. Sardonyx was.. _Being_ Sardonyx was just pure.. happiness. It (she) was confidence and strength and victory and **love** (all the things you could never have, could never be) all rolled together in a charismatic, theatrical, almost overflowing experience. And even when the time for them to unfuse had come, the waves of joy from being together (whole) had continued for much longer.

Pearl had just wanted to feel like that again.

It had been such a long time, after all. Garnet never fused with others for no reason (not when she had no need to) (she didn't need you like you needed her, after all, not when she was made of love), and ever since.. Well, since forever (don't think about 'before'), they hadn't really _needed_ Sardonyx. And when the communication hub was successfully made into a former one, Pearl had known the next appearence of Sardonyx may be decades (centuries) away.

Unless… Unless _something_ would happen that would make them (Garnet) need the fusion's powers again.

Sitting on the edge of the water pillar, Pearl felt her thoughts become all muddled up, spinning in her head like those silly teacups in the fair Steven had brought you (you and Amethyst and Garnet, all of you, together) to. Why had she - no, why did they - she had almost gotten _away_ with it, Garnet wouldn't have had to have _known_ , it was only going to be that one last time (but that's what you said to yourself the first time, too) - she had only wanted to - wanted to -

She had really, really let everyone down this time, hadn't she?

Tears started streaming down her face as the realization of her own deeds came crashing down to her - although the moment had already arrived when she saw Sugilite (formed because of a need to "just get it over with", because of her, because of her terrible mistake) smash the communication hub to a thousand little pieces. Pearl felt her face grow hot with the tears, even as her stomach sinked with a painfully cold feeling (and that was stupid, because gem's bodies weren't _actually_ real.. but where was this pain coming from, then?). And when her sobs got too big to stay silent, she didn't even try to restrain them.

That was probably the reason why she didn't hear the small, purple gem awkwardly making her way into the room, and, consequently, why she jumped at the sound of Amethyst's voice suddenly coming from behind her.

When Amethyst had been watching Steven stay up way past his bedtime (a rule mostly enforced by Pearl, anyway), discomfort at the current situation clearly showing in his face, she knew she would have to do something. So when Steven finally fell asleep with that weird cartoon of crying foodstuff still playing on the TV, she'd made her way to Pearl's place. (Garnet had disappeared somewhere, and she didn't really want to face her, either) (not with that last fusion, the one you had wanted so badly, but that turned out to be filled with just.. **anger** )

"Hey, P." …there was only silence from the other gem - only the effort Pearl was now visibly putting into quelling back her sobs showed that she was aware of Amethyst's presence. Standing there, Amethyst realized she had no idea what to say. How could she even hope to fix this? "…you okay?" There was a weird noise, like a snort mixed with a gross sob, from Pearl. (okayyy, maybe try something different..) "Hey, maybe you should like, rest or something..? We could try that slumber party thing again? And then when Garnet comes back -" here, Pearl flinched, but Amethyst continued on, "- you can like, apologize again. She can't stay mad forever, right..?" But there was no comment from Pearl. Amethyst was starting to get upset herself, now. It might not have been fair, but she decided to pull out the bigger guns. "Y'know, Steven's been pretty sad all day, too." _That_ got a reaction all right. The sobs Pearl had been holding back grew into a full-propotioned misery concert again, and she actually started wailing. "Ohhh.. S-s-steven- Garnet won't- I n-n-never meant to..! Why am I - like this, a disappointment, a _d-de_.."

Amethyst hated it when Pearl got like this - it wasn't like crying ever solved anything..! (she hated seeing her cry for real, not like usually when she was just too excited or relieved to contain her emotions) (this was the kind of crying she did when she hurt, bad) "Well, you have to _do_ something about it! _You're_ the one who messed up this time, and badly!" The words were like a physical blow, and Pearl recoiled. Amethyst, chest heaving from the raw emotion, tried to reel back. This wasn't what she came here to do. "I mean.." and now, she stepped closer to Pearl, who flinched (and man, did that _sting_ ), "I get it. I really do. Garnet is just so… together. You know what I mean, right?" Pearl didn't visibly respond, but even as her eyes glazed over with the tears that just kept coming (how didn't she dry out? no, no, bad time for jokes), she was at least listening. Amethyst took that as a sign to continue.

"It feels so amazing to fuse with her. It's like, you feel so strong and invincible and you really lo- like, you _don't_ hate yourself." Amethyst paused to consider her words (something she usually didn't do much - maybe that was why she felt so lousy at it), decided the wording wasn't really much better than the l-word she'd nearly slipped in there, and blushed dark purple. "A-anyway, I get why you did it, P", she continued, only stuttering a little. "And.. if all that stuff with Sugilite hadn't happened.. Geez, I might've tried to find reasons to fuse again, too." Now Amethyst was certain she saw Pearl shaking a little. Was she getting through to her? (man, she really wasn't at home with this comforting thing)

When Pearl made no sound or movement apart from the quiet sobs still wracking her body, Amethyst decided to just go to heck with it. With one smooth movement, she closed the short distance between them and hugged Pearl from behind (their heights, usually just a bit uncomfortably apart, coincided pretty well for this position). For a moment, she thought that Pearl might push her away. Apart from a small gasp at the initial contact, there seemed to be no response. But just as Amethyst was feeling embarrassed enough to let go, she felt thin hands grip one of her arms tightly. A bit awkwardly, she moved her other hand to rub soothing circles (or at least she hoped the motion was shooting) (it was only a couple of times she had been on the receiving end, after all, and that was… before) on the other gem's back.

They stayed like that for some time, Pearl's hunched form embraced by Amethyst's smaller one. Slowly, her sobs slowed down to a level where she could breathe more easily, but Pearl still couldn't bear to lift her head. Instead, she gripped Amethyst's hand even harder.

"It's going to be all right, P", Amethyst murmured into her hair, still gently stroking her back with her free hand.

Pearl wished she could believe that, she truly did. But no matter how much she hoped otherwise, she knew things were _not_ going to be all right. Even with all of her regret and remorse.. Even if by some small chance she would be granted forgiveness.. 

She knew Garnet would never, ever trust her again.

**Author's Note:**

> "Cry for Help" ruined my life. I needed some closure, but it turned into this 'nothing is resolved, but at least they're sad together' kind of thing. (Also, this is my first fic ever, so apologies for the rough style.)


End file.
